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It’s for you…
I should have trusted my gut feelings and not participate in this performance. Now, I don’t feel good when the performers are still getting the conductor’s cues all messed up two days before the performance. The overall standard gets worse with every concert. I feel embarrassed asking my friends to attend the concert because I don’t feel inspired by the pieces. I also saw her with him. There’s not much in the way of “social potential” left in the group. The elation I experienced before is gone and it’s time to move away. To looking on the brighter side, there’s one practice left before the performance.
I’m taking the grade 6 yangqin exam at the end of the year and plan to stop taking regular lessons after that. Like for my previous graded exam preparations, I’m stuck on the same two exam pieces for months and there’s not much progress. I don’t think I should stay on a piece for prolonged periods because lull weeks easily puts me out of touch. My teacher is also not very good at picking out etudes or new and interesting pieces. Seriously, I don’t really care what she was before or if she currently teaches students in advanced grades. I’d rather have a teacher who plays the instrument actively and understands it. I might engage another teacher for short term lessons in case I plan to take the graded exams in futures.
What’s next? I’ve got to prepare for the GRE in October, then the graded instrument exam in November or December. I want to find a weekend part-time job and learn a new skill. Maybe I’ll apprentice someone or volunteer my time somewhere. I want to see a segment of society that I’ll otherwise have little chance of coming into contact with. Maybe I’ll take a trip overseas later this year.
On a more upbeat note, she got my number today. It’s strange that it’s usually not me asking people for theirs. I enjoy her company more and more, and have one more reason to look forward to going to work. I like it when she gets amused but not when she mentions … . Interestingly, her accent is changing. Should that be a positive sign?
I’ve also had people asking me to attend events the past few weeks. I’ve rejected all of them. That’s lethargy.
I have the weakness of being too touchy.
